Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Sponge
As I was done washing the dishes a little while ago, I proceeded to cleaning our broken dishwasher. Normally, I use a separate sponge (aside from the one that I use to clean the dishes and stuff) to absorb the excess water that accumulated from the bottom part of the rack. Suddenly, my eyes were fixated on how the dry sponge sucks up the water almost immediately after it was soaked. Particles of water started moving toward the center direction where the sponge was placed. Certainly, that tiny thing can hold up liquid twice its original weight. Then I picked it up, squeezed it in the kitchen sink and did the same thing over again until the rack is almost, if not completely, dry.
That was just a part of the simple routine chore that I do every night. Nothing special about it. Though I admit that I enjoy observing the sponge’s porosity rather than doing the actual task of washing the dishes. “Is there something more to what really a sponge is?” For several nights now this question has been bothering me. So this thought suddenly came to me, maybe I should write something about it. I know it’s not a complex thing to merely look at such a cleaning agent. Apparently, its obvious appearance serves its purpose. (Duh Bo, it’s just a sponge for pete’s sake. Let it do its job. Don’t overanalyze things.)
There’s more than a couple of things that would define the word “sponge.” Definitely, I’m not referring to the sea creature, nor that cheerful-yellow-square-talking-thing in brown pants and tie that every children adorably loves. Simply just a plain object designed to take in any fluid within its reach. Then, there’s these other verb definitions that makes the whole difference depending on how they’re being used or meant.
According to my word processor’s built-in electronic dictionary:
sponge (verb)
- absorb liquid: to absorb liquids with a sponge or with the efficiency of a sponge
or
- get something by imposing on generosity: to get something by imposing on the generosity of others
So this is where I start writing…
See, such word usage could either be good or bad. This past few days, I’ve been contemplating on how portions of my life has becoming so shaky since this school semester started (now it‘s soon to end). As a family member, I thought/think that I’ve been giving much of myself on their household demands. Like a sponge, I thought/think that I just sop up everything that they have to say and make me do. Yes, it is my rightful part to participate and get myself used to all these. Really, it’s not that much, it’s just a matter of proper time management and I will be able to accomplish them in a smooth and timely way. What ticks me off though, is the fact that not everyone in our family is given a distinct responsibility of partaking in the household tasks to be done. Even worse, the value of the word “responsibility” is not being taught to them kids at an early age. I know my siblings are boys, but being a woman doesn’t automatically give me the words “maid” or “servant” written all over my forehead. Now, that’s double standard. Them parents only rely to me, whom they think is always available to do both the simple and hard work for them. Just because I don’t complain directly to them doesn’t mean that I’m okay with what I’m doing. But still, I end up doing it because I should. I wouldn’t say that I don’t have a choice, because really, I do have options. I could just choose to desert all these darn chores and get yelled at. Or maybe, have them do it instead (yeah right, as if that is going to happen). Sometimes, I thought/think that I really should be doing all these work in exchange to the monetary value that my parents has spent /invested in my ongoing Nursing education. I’m not really sure if I am obligated to work for what I have received, but sure they’re making me feel like I am (or maybe again, I‘m just thinking too much).
Now that I’m talking about Nursing school, I might as well say this: Bad news, I suck at it. I am currently almost in borderline average and below average grade. See, this wasn’t my personal standard and expectation because I know and I believe that I can do way better. I never really had a worse experience academically in my whole life until recently. Apparently, it is the result of my poor studying skills and lack of proper time management. Gee have I gotten so lazy? And complacent as well. That mentality of “everything is going to be okay” or “I can do better the next time” just don’t work for me because I end up being a notch lower than the previous one. And yeah, I would say that I’m badly in need of remediation at this point in time. Still, it’s not yet too late to not give up on myself.
Anyway, going back to the sponge thingy, I also think that I function as a sponge in the second definition. At the same time, I somehow feel that I’m imposing more from other‘s generosity. Fact: I have been jobless for almost a year now. I got no source of income, no not even one, but also that doesn’t justify that fact of me “almost” actually having to beg or ask or imply the need for money to others (such as my aunt, uncle, friends, but seldom to my own parents though). Just imagine the feeling of being financially sustained by the people around me, just like a sponge is being stuffed up by the waters around it. I think it really is necessary for survival for a sea critter. But having the backbone to get a job (for a fully-able adult like me), I say, would be the expected action for those of the higher level of existence. This is what frustrates me the most. I know I can do something, but I have chosen to give in to the limitations related to my familial circumstance.
Then lastly, comparing myself to a sponge also accounts for the fact of me being loved unconditionally. Sometimes I pause and think if the balance is right. “Am I giving out love just as much as I am receiving?” My initial answer is “yes,” but at the back of my head, I honestly doubt that. As for the sponge, the same amount of water that it absorbed is the same amount of water being let out as it is squeezed. Only difference for me, I think and I feel, is that I don’t give out everything. There’s more extra being left inside of me. Some of the love that I receive is retained, not fully expressed. Thus maybe I could say I am partly self-absorbed? Or what if the love that I’m receiving is more than what I could contain? Where do I put the excess? The sponge doesn’t hold it well if the water is more than enough, and liquid starts to drip out of it. I guess the same thing goes for me.
That was just a part of the simple routine chore that I do every night. Nothing special about it. Though I admit that I enjoy observing the sponge’s porosity rather than doing the actual task of washing the dishes. “Is there something more to what really a sponge is?” For several nights now this question has been bothering me. So this thought suddenly came to me, maybe I should write something about it. I know it’s not a complex thing to merely look at such a cleaning agent. Apparently, its obvious appearance serves its purpose. (Duh Bo, it’s just a sponge for pete’s sake. Let it do its job. Don’t overanalyze things.)
There’s more than a couple of things that would define the word “sponge.” Definitely, I’m not referring to the sea creature, nor that cheerful-yellow-square-talking-thing in brown pants and tie that every children adorably loves. Simply just a plain object designed to take in any fluid within its reach. Then, there’s these other verb definitions that makes the whole difference depending on how they’re being used or meant.
According to my word processor’s built-in electronic dictionary:
sponge (verb)
- absorb liquid: to absorb liquids with a sponge or with the efficiency of a sponge
or
- get something by imposing on generosity: to get something by imposing on the generosity of others
So this is where I start writing…
See, such word usage could either be good or bad. This past few days, I’ve been contemplating on how portions of my life has becoming so shaky since this school semester started (now it‘s soon to end). As a family member, I thought/think that I’ve been giving much of myself on their household demands. Like a sponge, I thought/think that I just sop up everything that they have to say and make me do. Yes, it is my rightful part to participate and get myself used to all these. Really, it’s not that much, it’s just a matter of proper time management and I will be able to accomplish them in a smooth and timely way. What ticks me off though, is the fact that not everyone in our family is given a distinct responsibility of partaking in the household tasks to be done. Even worse, the value of the word “responsibility” is not being taught to them kids at an early age. I know my siblings are boys, but being a woman doesn’t automatically give me the words “maid” or “servant” written all over my forehead. Now, that’s double standard. Them parents only rely to me, whom they think is always available to do both the simple and hard work for them. Just because I don’t complain directly to them doesn’t mean that I’m okay with what I’m doing. But still, I end up doing it because I should. I wouldn’t say that I don’t have a choice, because really, I do have options. I could just choose to desert all these darn chores and get yelled at. Or maybe, have them do it instead (yeah right, as if that is going to happen). Sometimes, I thought/think that I really should be doing all these work in exchange to the monetary value that my parents has spent /invested in my ongoing Nursing education. I’m not really sure if I am obligated to work for what I have received, but sure they’re making me feel like I am (or maybe again, I‘m just thinking too much).
Now that I’m talking about Nursing school, I might as well say this: Bad news, I suck at it. I am currently almost in borderline average and below average grade. See, this wasn’t my personal standard and expectation because I know and I believe that I can do way better. I never really had a worse experience academically in my whole life until recently. Apparently, it is the result of my poor studying skills and lack of proper time management. Gee have I gotten so lazy? And complacent as well. That mentality of “everything is going to be okay” or “I can do better the next time” just don’t work for me because I end up being a notch lower than the previous one. And yeah, I would say that I’m badly in need of remediation at this point in time. Still, it’s not yet too late to not give up on myself.
Anyway, going back to the sponge thingy, I also think that I function as a sponge in the second definition. At the same time, I somehow feel that I’m imposing more from other‘s generosity. Fact: I have been jobless for almost a year now. I got no source of income, no not even one, but also that doesn’t justify that fact of me “almost” actually having to beg or ask or imply the need for money to others (such as my aunt, uncle, friends, but seldom to my own parents though). Just imagine the feeling of being financially sustained by the people around me, just like a sponge is being stuffed up by the waters around it. I think it really is necessary for survival for a sea critter. But having the backbone to get a job (for a fully-able adult like me), I say, would be the expected action for those of the higher level of existence. This is what frustrates me the most. I know I can do something, but I have chosen to give in to the limitations related to my familial circumstance.
Then lastly, comparing myself to a sponge also accounts for the fact of me being loved unconditionally. Sometimes I pause and think if the balance is right. “Am I giving out love just as much as I am receiving?” My initial answer is “yes,” but at the back of my head, I honestly doubt that. As for the sponge, the same amount of water that it absorbed is the same amount of water being let out as it is squeezed. Only difference for me, I think and I feel, is that I don’t give out everything. There’s more extra being left inside of me. Some of the love that I receive is retained, not fully expressed. Thus maybe I could say I am partly self-absorbed? Or what if the love that I’m receiving is more than what I could contain? Where do I put the excess? The sponge doesn’t hold it well if the water is more than enough, and liquid starts to drip out of it. I guess the same thing goes for me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
