A 77 and a 77 for a 22..

I woke up from my afternoon nap not knowing what awaits me in the next ten minutes or so.. First I logged in through my webstudy account online to view the result of my third exam. I got an 80. I said "not bad." But then when I looked further down the pane, my average states "77" (I bet that explains the first number up there in the title). Then afterwards I got a hold of my cellphone and called TD bank immediately regarding some "suspicious" activity in my account. It says "you have $77 over drop." Where did that came from? That has been bugging me since yesterday. When I finally had the chance to speak with a customer service representative, the lady explained to me that the bank charged me $77 because I swiped my card twice without having any money on it. Isn't that great? I've always thought that I had everything in track when it comes to using my debit/credit card. Now I'm not even sure where to get the money to pay for that penalty charge just to be able to activate my card once again.

I'm starting to hate this.. First I'm in the verge of flunking my course, not to mention the potential waste of a substantial amount of money that came along with it, then now having to owe money to the bank out of my own stupidity?? Gosh.. If only I had enough to pay for my own food. But the problem is I don't. I'm jobless, I'm useless, and I'm lifeless. If only my "dear" parents know what is going on with me, probably they would treat me the other way-- or not. Because they themselves have their own financial issues to rather take care of. The van has been broken down in the last week, the car might be the next one, everyone has been stressing out on that. Even though I have this desire to help myself by getting a job, oh well, how do I even get to where I am supposed to go if I don't have any ride? So yeah I'm stuck in this rut. I'm tired of asking for money to other people over and over (not that all that is enough to keep me going through an entire month), I'm tired of studying my butt off and still getting the same mediocre grade, I'm tired of bearing with the people in this house (all 'em so perfect and organized), I'm tired of doing nothing out of all these...

I guess I'm done complaining for now. I know I still have to do what I have been doing (or not been doing).. and maybe continue sucking on everything. But then again, I have one thing to be thankful for and that is the fact that I'm not alone in all this.. Not that I'm happy because some person out there is sharing the sufferrings I have right now, but rather because I know that the burden is somehow lessened because there are two to bear 'em.. I am not expecting to walk this life free of any baggage, for I know that everything I need is inside that heavy package.. It's all a matter of how I'm going to utilize the contents of it -- things in life that I could either make use of or stuff that will just remain as an additional weight on my back. I've always thought somehow I have an idea of everything that is going on within this life of mine, but there are times where I simply just go on with it uncertainly. It doesn't necessarily mean that I am faithless, maybe I just do waver...

And by the way, happy 22nd birthday to me..