Anywhere, but here...

I feel compelled to write about something, or else… Or else what? I don’t have any idea what I’m gonna’ do next.. Crap I feel so f*cked up again.. This never-ending series of unfortunate events seems to be prevalent in my life. Only, they come in different blows and intensities. By now, I should’ve gotten used to it already. So what’s up with this whining again? It’s just whenever something good happens to me (which rarely occurs), another thing comes up and bursts the heck out of my perfect bubble.. This one seems to be simple, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be an “event” or a “thing”, it can just simply be an “insensitive/ignorant” and “thoughtless” statement such as this:

||When she saw me carrying a plastic bag of somethin'-somethin' as I entered through the back door..||

“Oh you went shopping again? You know you should be saving every penny you have left coz’ you don’t have any more money..”

My discreet response:

“Chyeaah??? I‘m not a dumb assh*le to be reminded of that effin fact?! One more thing, d‘you think spending $10 worth of cheap printed shirts ($2 each) would hurt me as much as you are thinking??? What??? Am I gonna‘ be homeless now??? And by the way, these crappy souvenir shirts aren‘t even for myself if you‘re thinking that I, again, am feeding my non-sense pleasures. These are for my unprivileged loved ones back there in the Philippines who are expecting much from me, but obviously in return I can‘t really give them more than what I can afford.”

Back to her:

“Even if so. I‘m just saying…”

...Why do simple but thoughtful things seem too hard to be understood by some??? I wonder...They're so overly in-touched with the reality and hardships of life that they forget about the goodness of simple things.. Darn.. It frustrates me...

Back to me (discreetly):

“Well then think before you speak. And think about all the crap that you wasted your money on. If it‘s even YOUR money. Then that's when you can have something to say about my own personal financial expenditures..”


||Sadly, she didn’t have the chance to hear all these things that I’ve been meaning to say back to her..||


So that was the silent conversation that we had after I just came home from New York.. Oh The Big Apple.. It was my first time actually to walk around its city streets. Yeah, it was tiring, but my eyes were satisfied by the sights.. Once again, I’m amazed by the busyness of a city-setting. People and lots of things altogether. And again, my mind goes gaga over the thought of what would it be like for me living in such a place…

Oh, and one more thing before I end this, go figure out yourself why my title is like that..